Uncle!

I Give. You win, kid. Here's your crib back. Enjoy those bars, and may they be the last ones you ever see in your lifetime. My little Boo Boo is amazing, but he is still a little Boo Boo, and therefore should not be made to act like a big Boo until he is ready. I should've listened to the moms and the experts and everything else that said kids really aren't ready for big beds until they're about 2 1/2. But me and my ego thought this kid - who is learning things at such a rapid rate, I'm already branding him a genius - could handle putting himself to bed. No frigging way, is what he replied. And to keep me from dubbing him Little Shite due to his lack of sleep propelling him into another personality altogether - one that finds new and exciting ways to test me, such as teaching the turtle in the tank to "drive" with a Match Box car, pulling off diapers and marking his favorite spaces in the house like a puppy, and ripping pages out of his books - I decided today enough was enough. I got a used crib for Carly and dismantled and then reassembled Kane's old crib back in his room, just in time for his nap. And may I say he needed a nap like nobody's business. This is a kid who, for one entire month, has averaged 8-10 hours of sleep per day, when he should be getting 14 (12 during the night, and a 2-hour nap). He has been walking, punch drunk, into walls. He has purple bruises under his eyes. He's getting mighty good at going potty as soon as he's put down for naps or for bedtime, but still keeps right on pooping in his pants the rest of the day. Something about forcing his body to do its thing just to buy five minutes of freedom is what this kid is all about. I really started freaking out when he began to eschew the whole nap thing this past week, however. Whose kid is this? I thought. Not mine; mine would relish the opportunity to flop on a bed in the early afternoon and snooze away. Luxury, kid. I am so going to remind you of this when you have to get a job or be a stay-at-home dad and you would KILL for fifteen minutes of peace and quiet in a supine position. Anyway, back to topic - he's been a different kid lately, and he was starting to drop the nap waaaay too early in his life. And I won't say this mission of mine to find Crib Two was all altruistic. I am not the best mommy in the world. I am a tired mommy. And I needed to find Crib Two because frankly, I was losing my patience with the boy a lot sooner in recent days because I was not able to sit still for ONE minute. I was turning into a different person, one who was getting mad at him for spilling juice, for crying out loud. Not very cool, both of us being a bit jerky, to be honest. Therefore, I ran out today, determined to find a cheap cheap (safe) crib for him before his nap time. I found one, but it had wheels, so I couldn't give it to him on the off-chance he'd be the one kid in the universe who could somehow push off the wall and move the damn thing, despite the carpeting. So the boy, who celebrated his 22-month birthdaytwo nights ago by going to bed at 11:20 p.m. - and only after much gnashing of teeth and wailing, I might add - got his old crib back. And he put himself to sleep after 20 minutes during nap time. It took him 1 hour and fifteen minutes tonight, but still. 9:15 p.m. I'll take that any day over 11:20 p.m. You win, kid. You rock. Mommy's going to get a drink, now.