Captain's Star Date: September 14, 2005

... She's strapped me in this infernal swing, again. Damn, these plastic fish. Bah! Out of my way, you green beastie. Woman, if you insist on placing me in this contraption, you had best give me some of that rice cereal stuff you mushed up for me this past week. Hey, boy, you; stop that squawking back there. Woman, why do you persist in seating the Loud One behind me, where you very well know I cannot see him. What am I supposed to do for entertainment, now? Watch you? You jig in the mornings for me, yes, I suppose, but I know very well this is not morning because it is too dark and there is no smell of that bitter hot drink you and the Dark Suited Man slurp when you stumble out of bed. What are you going to do now to make me smile, pull dead animals out of the hot lidded box you are always telling the Loud One to stay away from? Ha, I fart in your general direction. Hm, this looks promising; she's pulled out the garish plastic spoon she thinks is so cute. I'd shudder from her severe lack of taste, were its presence not a signal that something gastronomically interesting is a'coming. Oh, pipe down, You Who Yells; at least she's already put food in front of you. What the-- what the Huggies is this? She's shaking a clear vessel full of something orange and is now uncapping it. Woman, this does not look like the rice cereal I requested. Did you not hear me yelp for rice cereal? Huh?! I specifically said: "Maaaawah!" Yeah, yeah; I see you opening your mouth. I'm not your monkey, lady. I'm only opening my mouth because I'm hungry enough to try whatever this mush is you're shoving in my face. What - this -- this is --- this is rapturous! What IS this stuff? What did you say? Did you say "carrots?" My god, Woman; why have you kept this from me? Do you not love me? We'll talk later; just keep this coming, oh yeah, that's the stuff, oh - hey, hey hey HEY! Hey, get back here! What's the idea, leaving me with these useless arms and this ridiculous spoon lying so near me? That kid back in that high chair better be on fire or something to interrupt me and this "carrots," my "I Heart My Big Brother" bib be damned. What? Not on fire? Hey, Loud One; get back here! Woman, someone, anyone! Get back here and get this spoon near me! Get this - oh, there you are. Hurry, please; oh, yes, thank you. Mmmmmm, carrots. Sigh. I love you, Woman.