Powder-Fresh Breath

The first time my son tells me I am mean or I am unreasonable, I will simply tell him he doesn't know what mean is, that I COULD HAVE taken a picture of him this morning showing him trying to eat a whole box of my long-stashed-away tampons, and taken another picture of him getting frustrated when I wouldn't open the box for him so he could get at those little suckers. I COULD HAVE kept those said pictures for posterity, to break out on only the most special of occasions, such as his first major sleepover with his little friends, the time he first brings home a girlfriend, his fiancee, whatever. They could be such versatile mementos. But I DIDN'T. BECAUSE I AM NOT THAT MEAN. So there, kid.